To say "teaching is all about relationships" is a sweeping generalization for sure. And yet can't all of the other goals we have as teachers be included in the overall dynamics of relationships. Our connections with people are built on activities, shared experiences, thoughts, feelings. I guess what I'm saying is that there's no need to create a false dichotomy between emphasizing relationships and other goals. Both aspects are mutually reinforcing.

I think the principal's comment is deeper than it seems on the surface. To be sure, as teachers we strive to impart skills and values to our students. That's the "material," the "stuff" of the relationships. When where is a connection between a teacher and a student, a lot more can happen. Teachers can become models to substitute for or add on to parental relationships. A teacher can pass along the virtues and personal qualities (such as self-confidence) that she or he has developed through a subtle transmission that goes on under the surface--probably sub-consciously. I like to say "from heart to heart." I think this is a transpersonal connection, in the sense that it's more basic than personality. After a student has received a transmission from a teacher, that student may not feel a need to stay in contact with that individual. It's not personal--the connection happened, the transmission came through, and the work is done.

I think it's easy for me to forget how valuable the qualities we develop as teachers really are. The ability to speak clearly and calmly in front of groups, to help others focus their attention on what's at hand, to devise plans for group activities--these are truly precious skills that I tend to take for granted because I'm doing it every day.